A Great Question

So...if happiness is such a good thing, what are the main influences on our happiness and which can we do more about? If happiness is considered 100%, what percentages would you consider the influence of genetics, life circumstances, personal choices, phases of the moon, etc?

Surprisingly, research has shown that our genetic set point influences 50% of our happiness. There are a variety of ways that our predisposition to happiness is heavily influenced by genetics. Regardless, this does not mean individuals are trapped. In the same way we are genetically predisposed to specific diseases (diabetes, heart disease) and we can make changes to lifestyle, diet, sleep and exercise to reduce risk, there are practical ways to positively impact our genetic predisposition with respect to happiness.

More surprisingly, life circumstances only impact long term happiness by  only 10%. At only 10%, this removes a significant portion of factors that can be blamed for unhappiness. The good news is that this also means we are not defined by out past or imprisoned in the present!  The reason why circumstances do not affect us much is that we adapt over time. A great example is that research has shown that money does not lead to lasting happiness because individuals will adapt to any level of money over time. Ask most lottery winners!

The most challenging factor influencing out happiness is personal control, calculated at a whopping 40%! It is not events themselves that determine our happiness, but our perceptions of those events. Our personal control suggests that being happy involves choices, the motivation to expend effort and the decision to see situations as opportunities for growth and learning. 

How often have you heard someone say "I didn't have a choice"? What they are really saying is "the right choice for me was too hard to make!".

If making the right choices for you is too intimidating, your coach can support you in creating process and accountability that will lead to greater happiness. 

The Myths Of Happiness

For many people, maintaining an optimal level of happiness seems elusive. When they are happy, they tend to ignore why and when their happiness drops, they instinctively start looking for ways to jack it back up. This is the point at which one or more of the myths of happiness take over.

The myths generally fall under the category of "if - then"; if I get something, then my happiness will improve.

So...what are some of the myths?

1. Once I obtain A, B, or C, then I can be happy.

People often live in the future as though tomorrow holds something special that today does not. Moreover, people make decisions about being happy if only conditions A, B, or C are present in their lives. There is no justification for not permitting yourself to be happy now. There is nothing wrong with setting goals - like A, B, or C - but not allowing yourself to happily experience the process of achieving them is a lost opportunity.

2. There is little to be happy about: I don't own my home, I have debt, I need to lose weight, I just got a divorce.

You get the picture. All of these things - and more - may be true. However, it's not what happens to us so much but it's how we thing about what happens that matters. Shakespeare famously wrote "there is no good or bad, but thinking makes it so". Research has shown that our personal circumstances account for no more than 10% of our overall sense of happiness. The reason it is not higher is that we continually adapt as our lives unfold. Understanding this reality is the first step to successfully navigating the rough waters life creates.

3. If I get therapy, read the right book, take a workshop, or watch enough TED talks I can become happy.

All of these things can make a positive impact on a person's happiness but they come with the potential trap of unmet expectations. Setting an expectation about what will happen is trying to accurately predict the future -  a risky exercise indeed! By all means be proactive, but wait until the end to see how it turned out. This reduces the potential for disappointment and the feeling that, once again happiness has eluded you.

A large body of credible research has shown that taking personal charge of nurturing our happiness is the most effective way to make a positive difference. Check out this short video to see why.

If growing your happiness appeals to you but you are frustrated with where to start, your coach may be just the answer!

Would you rather eat an elephant, a snowball, or a frog?

I know you have heard this one.  How do you eat an elephant? Wait for it…one bite at a time. We all know the saying, but we often fail to apply this lesson in our businesses. 

Brian Tracy wrote a book called “Eat that Frog.”  He quotes Mark Twain, saying, “If the first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning is to eat a live frog, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that’s probably the worst thing that’s going to happen to you all day long.”

Yuck!

And we’ll discuss snowballs in a moment.

Right now, I'm working with a business owner right now that needs to eat an elephant, a snowball, and a frog.

She has a decent size business with 5 employees.  She has been at the same revenue for as long as I've known her and she wants to get over the hump.

She wants to work on marketing, managing her production crew, her admin staff, bookkeeping, and her own day-to-day activities. 

In other words…everything.

• First eating the elephant.

She’s finally letting me really dig in and help her. We have identified her three major goals for the next year and are simply breaking down each area of her business, one bite at a time.

• Next is the snowball.  Well, she’s not actually eating it, but you’ll get the point.

She is taking on the easiest project of her business first, like Dave Ramsey's snowball method for paying off debt. In this case, it is just job descriptions. She feels like this would be easy to work on.  Once she has that done for November, she will have some confidence and see her progress paying off and we move on to the next project. 

• Lastly, she is eating the frog.

Even though she is taking on the easiest project of her business, she is committing to working on the hardest task first each day.   In the case of job descriptions, she works on them for 30 minutes each morning, before answering any email or phone calls.

It's never a perfect process and there can always be a reason to put it off. 

The key is to break down the process into small bites, starting with the easiest project, and do the hardest task first each day.  

This will make the process manageable, allow you to build some early victories, and make each day count toward your goal.