Are You an Entrepreneur? (The 10 Second Test)

Please click on this link, and then please return http://www.kulfoto.com/funny-pictures/22594/our-education-system .  Do you agree with the sentiment expressed in the cartoon?  If you do, don't start a business..... please.  Spare your banker, CPA, preacher, therapist, and family from following you down a rat's hole.

My sister-in-law posted this cartoon to Facebook.  Her point is that standardized tests, like the SAT, are culturally biased.  I posted, "If you're looking for tree climbers, this looks like a pretty good test."  She responded that she got my point, but disagreed nonetheless.  How does this little family spat apply to your suitability as a business owner?

I have often written that there are two types of people in the world, business owners and employees.  This cartoon illustrates the difference.  Employees are process people.  They care about the fairness of the test in the cartoon. Business owners are purpose people.  They care about accomplishing an objective.  They focus on the goal of finding tree climbers.

Why are employees, like my sister-in-law, process people?  Because their paychecks show up every Friday regardless of their accomplishments.  They care about keeping their jobs.  Thanks to decades of crazy employment legislation, keeping jobs is about subjugating purpose, in the form of accountability, to fair process.  Fearing litigation, companies can no longer fire employees just for being useless.  They have to prove some sort of malfeasance.  Process trumps purpose in the employment world.

I know all about "at will" employment.  It doesn't exist.  If litigation will cost you tens of thousands of dollars, can you really afford to fire Jane, who will hire a lawyer and accuse you of bullying her by asking her to show up on time?

Owners are purpose people, because they have to be.  The bank really doesn't care if you have a great process.  They'll bounce your checks anyway.  Process only matters to business owners to the extent it accomplishes a purpose.  Let's take a look at two situations, and I'll let you decide who should be the business owner.

Fred is married to a philandering bitch.  She smoked pot in the basement with her children, griped that Fred didn't make enough money, and hasn't made a serious attempt at holding a job in years.  A couple years ago, she moved overseas leaving Fred with four children.

Fred talks weekly with his family complaining about his spouse.  He talks about getting a lawyer and divorcing her, but wonders how the children will feel.  He works two back breaking jobs, but is near bankruptcy nonetheless.  Fred borrows money from his exasperated mother sometimes tricking her.  Now his spouse is coming back, and he can't decide whether he should allow her to live in his apartment.  He's afraid he'll anger the children.  So he does nothing.

Tim's wife gave him two days to vacate their house when she decided to end the marriage.  She counted on shock and awe to intimidate him, but instead Tim got a divorce attorney referral from some attorney friends.  He met with the attorney and did everything she told him to do.  He made a list of all the tasks necessary to end the marriage and reach a property settlement.  In four months, the divorce was settled.  A year later Tim married a blond former cheerleader cybersecurity engineer with a six figure income.

Would you rather have Fred or Tim for a business partner?  Fred is a process person.  He's caught up in the emotions of his situation.  He cares about feelings, his and others', more than he cares about getting his situation resolved.  Tim is a purpose person.  He didn't wallow in the emotions of his situation.  He set goals and took actions to accomplish them.

Normally I hide the identity of my characters.  Not in this case.  Guess which one is me, and which one is my sister-in-law.  How does her response to the cartoon look now?  Who is living the dream, and who is living the nightmare?

A week ago I requested a meeting with one of my would be, real estate mogul clients.  I requested the meeting, because he had requested some time to talk about a new business idea.  I knew if we held a phone conference, we would piss away an hour of my time that he would object to paying for.  So, I told him we really needed to meet in person, so that I could properly advise him.  I knew that either he would decline the meeting, thus saving me an hour, or he would come in for the meeting and pay for my time.  Yes, it really is all about me.

He came in and told me about five different new business ideas.  He was considering hiring a bunch of people to do things like lead generation and some other absurd tasks.  He then told me he was having trouble finding the time to develop any of these fabulous business ideas.  His wife has a job, and he is stuck taking care of the kids.  Not only that, but he doesn't have any money to hire anyone anyway.

He is a real estate agent with no sales.  As my real estate agent friends would tell you, the real estate sales biz ain't what it used to be.  In the early 2000's any moron could make a living selling houses in Northern Virginia, as my real estate mogul client had.  Now it takes some brains and a whole lot of hard work to make a decent living.  It's still possible, but not by sitting on your ass at home babysitting your ill-conceived spawn.

This guy is a classic process person.  He enjoys the process of thinking up new business ideas.  He doesn't enjoy the work of making the ideas into real businesses.  He dreams of hiring minions to do his bidding, reaping millions with his feet propped up on a mahogany desk.  In the meantime, his wife supports the family, and he wonders why he isn't successful.

In the business world, purpose always beats process.  When life hands a process person lemons, he dreams of lemonade.  When life hands a purpose person lemons, he orders a truckload and sells them to make enough money to get the hell out of the lemon business.

Here's an old joke I'm repurposing.  What's the difference between a catfish and Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboy's quarterback?  One's a scum sucking bottom feeder.  The other's a fish.

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for RGIII.  He alone has made the Redskins watchable, even in defeat.  Tomorrow is his first matchup with Tony.  Wondering who Jessica "I just lost 60 lbs" Simpson is rooting for?  My Thanksgiving prayer is as follows.

"Dear <insert politically correct deity choice>, please take a break from screwing up the Middle East for one day, and focus on something important, the Redskins.  We humbly thank you for blessing us with RGIII.  We beseech you to provide sympathetic referees to protect him and gird his loins against the heathen Cowboys.  Seriously, how could you possibly like Jerry Jones, who is the Garden of Evil snake incarnate?  Ok, how could you like Dan Snyder either?  But I'm doing the praying here.  Jerry can pray on his own.  I'll bet he thinks you should pray to him.  HTTR - Amen."

As always, thanks for reading.  For actual, factual, and satisfactual  tax and accounting advice, please visit the main S&K web site at www.skcpas.com.

When it comes to the Cowboys, we must always do it to them before they do it to us.  God is on our side.